Update 20/4/21

 So here goes another update. 

Not a lot has happened since my last update as the lockdown is still here but we are finally starting to see progress with the vaccine being delivered. I haven’t got mine yet but Adam, adams dad, my mum and John and my dad and brother have all had it. I am the only one that seems not to have had it. 

The house is getting on fine, we have pretty much resolved all the leaks and all the rooms that needed an immediate change has been completed which is great, we have even got the bar finished. It’s just a shame that Adam and I aren’t really seeing eye to eye lately and therefore this is causing issues.

It’s so annoying when you feel like everything has fallen into place and then BOOM shit hits the fan again. Adam is leaving Audi and taking on a new job which will be good for him and it’s better money to hopefully help him with his finances a bit and means I won’t be covering his arse all the time. I think that’s where the real strain is with us at the moment - all the excess money is coming out of my pocket while he spends his money on fancy cars and things like that which is not ideal! There doesn’t seem to be an contribution his end with any excess money, the only thing he has paid so far with this house is the bills and even then, if the electric bill is higher than normal I am paying it! 

Is it bad when you start to debate your whole relationship based on such little things? I mean the money thing is shit but now there is so much more to consider. I wanna start a family for example and I don’t think Adam is there yet - I am 25 coming onto 26 and I don’t think I wanna wait any longer, I am ready to be a mum and he would be a good dad but he isn’t ready which I am struggling with a wee bit. How long do you wait for someone to be ready? Every year he just keeps sayings yeah next year!! If I wait though I worry I will wait forever as I don’t think he will ever be ready! 

In a way I kind of feel like we shouldn’t have moved out as I feel our relationship is has taken a massive dive and we just are not the same people we used to be anymore but at the same time if we didn’t take the leap we would have been wasting so much time not realising that so now we just need to decide on whether it’s worth pushing through or not tbh. If that means selling the house then so be it. 

Such a different time. Anyways. Mum and John moved into their house and are loving it and so does Bailey - I don’t visit much, maybe once a month because of lockdown but when I do it’s great. I still speak to mum every day. Dad is doing great too and is getting on abs still with Lisa. Nanny is coming up to visit also this year in July so we will see how that goes. Ross also never went to prison and got a tag, community service and other bits which is good. 

That’s pretty much all now.